Life's just one big learning curve sometimes, isn't it? And the best learning can come in the most unexpected moments. Books and courses are wonderful tools and I'm an eternal student so I don't mind soaking up as much knowledge as I can.
But there's a huge difference between comprehending something and applying that knowledge. In this enlightened age for instance, we all know we should love and value ourselves for who we are but it's a rare bird who puts this successfully into practice. It's more a case of, 'Do I like myself?' 'Yes, sure. I just hate my body shape/undereye circles/wrinkles/lacklustre social presence/boring job....' - fill in the blanks with whatever you currently don't like about yourself. The trouble is that you radiate all these negative feelings to the world around you, affecting the way other people perceive and respond to you.
If you think you can't attract the right partner into your life because you're not attractive enough, think again. We've all known that average-looking guy or girl who seems to be constantly surrounded by admirers and we wonder what their secret is. Well, it's no secret really. These 'lucky ones' are almost invariably happy, warm, confident people who draw others to them like moths to the light, simply because other people want to bask in their glow. It's usually an unselfconscious thing, which only adds to the charm.
I experienced this first hand a few weeks ago. It was a hot, humid morning and I was elbow-deep in my cluttered kitchen surrounded by metres of fabric and a broken down sewing machine. My daughter's school formal was in two weeks time and I knew I had absolutely no hope of getting her dress finished. Why on earth had I volunteered to make it in the first place? (Actually, making it was going to be a lot cheaper than buying it, that's why.)
Halfway through the afternoon I gave up. Trying to sew with a machine that constantly broke the cotton, puckered the fabric and snapped the needles, was playing havoc with my nervous system. I decided to bite the bullet and spend the money on a ready-made instead. For the first time in weeks I felt 'light'. I grabbed my handbag and my daughter and headed for the stores. We started out in the sweltering heat but a breeze quickly blew up and being a lover of all things green and cool, my spirits lifted a notch higher. Frankly, I felt great! Right before closing time, having found the perfect dress in record time, I was headed for the bank, my favourite cotton dress billowing about my ankles as I stepped it out, feeling mighty pleased with myself. On my way back to the store, where my daughter waited with the dress dangling over her arm, I was stopped mid-stride by a middle aged woman with an earnest look about her. Touching my arm she said, 'I just wanted to tell you, you look gorgeous.' She went on, 'You don't see yourself like other people see you, do you? But I saw you walking towards me and I thought - that woman is absolutely gorgeous.'
Naturally, I was completely taken aback and only hope I managed to thank her properly. Then I felt a bit confused. Did I look any different to the way I had the day before? No one had paid me a compliment like that for a long time - possibly no one had ever paid me one quite as delightful as that. Later, thinking about it, I knew it could only be because of how I felt. I felt free and weightless, happy, satisfied and glowing. I'd been in such a hurry I wasn't thinking about how I looked or what other people might think - I just clattered quickly to the ATM and back! But inside I was beaming...and evidently it showed.
If I could bottle that feeling and reproduce it at will, I'm pretty sure I'd have more dates than I could handle, possibly from both sexes! Now, don't get me wrong - I don't need the extra attention. I have eyes only for my man. But it was an Ah-hah! moment for me and I really wanted to share it.
We all need to comprehend that lesson and what's more, we need to apply it. But it's not always that easy - sometimes the more we think about it, the harder it gets. If you happen to be single and wondering why you can't meet the man/woman of your dreams, I suggest you test the theory sometime and see what happens.
For more information go to: www.BeIrresistibleToMen.com (For any of you guys out there, there's a corresponding course called 'How To Be Irresistible To Women', available from the same link.)
2 comments:
Mel,
I had an experience like that once, as well!
I had been in Germany working as a nanny for 5 months. I had been terribly homesick and lonely. During a visit to a family that was a 2-hour train trip from where I was living, I decided it was time to come back home. I was elated and could scarcely wipe the smile off my face during the train trip back to the village where I worked.
Well, across from me on the train, a man was admiring me and was telling me something (in a language I couldn't understand). I was only 18 and traveling alone, so he scared me. He was probably telling me how radiant I looked. But, as soon as the train stopped, I moved to another seat. He followed me -- still talking. I got off the train and ran through the train station. He still followed me and found where I was hiding behind a pillar in the station to tell me whatever-the-heck-I-couldn't-understand again! Well, I finally ran around the corner and up an escalator and lost him!
Wouldn't it be a pitty if he had simply been telling me something like your middle-aged woman told you and I ran away? Well, there's the truth! I find that so many times we women run away when someone tells us we are beautiful. Maybe that's why we don't walk around radiating beauty like you did on that day on a regular basis. How dangerous would an army of confident, inner-radient women be???
Much love,
Tamara Johnson
www.GetOutoftheMud.com
Tamara! Hi...good to see you and thanks for visiting. I'm loving this quote of yours - 'How dangerous would an army of confident, inner-radiant women be?'
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
We'd be terrifying in the very best way possible; with the ability to really challenge the status quo and rock the way the world thinks and operates. Let's do it,shall we?
Much love back,
Mel
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