A Potent Symbol

Right now I'm building a new website dedicated to the search for truth about real beauty - about self esteem, self image, challenging the status quo, discovering ways to make relationships as fruitful and satisfying as they're meant to be and calling for active participation on the part of both men and women. As my logo I've chosen the silhouette of a majestic oak tree and one of my dearest friends asked me why. What's the concept behind it? So I've decided to share it here exactly as I told it to Marita.

'...here's the story. It's a simple one really.

No one would want to dig out their magnificent hundred year old oak tree and replace it with a brand new, shiny green sapling, would they? Because the years on an oak tree have added value to it - they've made it more beautiful, magnificent, awe-inspiring, breath-taking. The fragile sapling is pretty and fresh and green - therefore having value all of its own...but no one would dream of desiring it over the other. Yet older women are tossed on the bonfire of life so fast it makes our heads spin. Friends...it's all perception. There is no objective standard of beauty. It's entirely man-made and serves the dominant culture. That sounds awfully bitter and sexist but it's not...I've taken a good, long objective look at it. There are huge payoffs for the dominant culture in keeping women down; in forever shifting the bar so that no woman ever has a chance of achieving success or power for more than a short period of time. The entire fashion and beauty industry would collapse (and they're backed by the giant chemical/pharmaceutical companies) - if women felt strong and worthwhile; without the need to forever chase this phantom called beauty/sexiness/femininity/blah, blah, blah.

I want my site to help women and men begin to think differently...for women to understand that the hand we're dealt by society is in fact an illusion - and we can, in fact, choose not to believe the lie or participate in it. And for men to understand the same thing - but also to realize that this societal lie is keeping them from what most men truly need...if only they knew it...and that's real intimacy, closeness, trust, acceptance, understanding and no-holds-barred love from women.

So the oak tree is my symbol - a way to point out how illusory our culture's perceptions are. An oak tree gains value, worth, power, beauty and 'psychological space' as the years add their richness. It's also a traditional symbol of wisdom...I believe a peculiarly feminine wisdom...and that too, is a large part of its charm for me.'

I'll post my web address as soon as it's running smoothly.

Love and light,
Mel

The beautiful photograph I've presented here is by Kevin Tuck. You can see more of his work by clicking on the image itself.

How To Stay in Love

Ever been in love and miserable?

There was a time I thought being miserable was an inevitable part of being in love and it seemed all my friends were in the same boat. Year after year I read every relationship help guide I could lay my hands on, pored over the pages, implemented the strategies...and stayed miserable. I was almost ready to give up on love when I met someone incredibly special...someone I just wasn't prepared to give up on...and I was scared.

Then I found Amy Waterman's book, 'How to be Irresistible to Men'. As the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

The first thing that appealed to me was the fact it was written by a woman, and a highly intelligent one at that. So many relationship advice articles and books, particularly those available on the internet, are written by men, many of whom have no expertise other than their own experience. It seemed to me that men were writing relationship advice for men...and they were also writing relationship advice for women. And as much as I admired their confidence, there was a part of me that was heartily sick of being told how I should look and what I should say and do, by an unqualified male. A lot of the advice in these books is superficial at best and manipulative at worst. More to the point, it doesn't work.

Amy Waterman however, bases her suggestions on solid research. Before she began writing she spoke to hundreds of women, conducted surveys and really got to the bottom of what's going on. When I read about her research, I already started to feel 'safer'. She noticed trends - common experiences and difficulties that ordinary women have in relationships; the kinds of 'issues' you probably talk about to your girlfriends without ever really solving anything. But Amy discovered something extremely important. We attract what we are. Now...that seems like a simple enough concept but I'd never really thought of it in terms of my love-life. If you use a whole lot of superficial tactics to win a man, you'll undoubtedly win him - but at a cost. The man you 'win' will be someone who's only attracted to the superficial. He'll be a player. BUT...if you don't compromise who you are; if you let your loving heart shine through, you'll attract the kind of man who's interested in you as a person and who has the capacity to love you right back. And that's what I wanted more than anything else in the world...and I believe most women are just like me.

Of course, it's not as simple as it seems and relationship difficulties crop up long after the attraction and dating stages have passed. That's another thing I love about Amy's book. She doesn't just help you discover how to attract a really loving man into your life - she helps you keep your committed relationship on even keel. Her suggestions go a long way towards removing the fear and confusion so many of us experience from the first date onwards. The topics in her book cover how to:

• Be more confident and feminine (without compromising your power)
  
• Overcome shyness and self-doubt
• Find Mr. Right amid a sea of Mr. Wrongs
• Attract men in a way that suits any woman - no matter what her age!
• Keep the fires burning in your relationship

Of course, 'knowing' all this won't make everything right - you have to apply it. And that's definitely the hard part. The 111 page workbook that comes with the course is utterly invaluable. It got me 'off my butt' and doing something positive and life-changing instead of just endlessly thinking about it. You can also watch a 2 hour video course online without having to purchase a DVD. Even her free 6-part mini-course, available via email, contains a wealth of information you'll be able to put to use straight away.

You don't need to be miserable. You can do something about your floundering love-life; something positive, workable, empowering and effective. I'm no longer afraid and confused. I know I'm giving this relationship with the man of my dreams the very best chance possible. And the price is tiny.

www.BeIrresistibleToMen.com